The lockdown experience we have gone through has allowed some of us to be aware of the sounds of nature that can be heard when the noise of the busy areas where we live is no longer there. This break from the constant hum of traffic has been for some people a chance to get back in touch with nature, for others it has been unsettling. For me, I realised that silence can be both enriching and disturbing. Enriching because it allows me to reflect and disturbing because it confronts me to my own self.

Quakers are a community that is rooted in Christianity. One of our beliefs is that there is something that emerges when we sit in silent worship that has a transforming power. This allows us to set aside our everyday self and encounter the mystery and grace of God present in the silence. In the booklet “Quality and Depth of Worship and Ministry,” we are asked whether we recognise that ministry can be given in silence as well as through the spoken word. We have a tendency to focus on words rather than on what there is behind those words and as such, the written or the spoken words, in my personal and professional experience, can, when not rooted in the silence, scatter and divide whereas silence brings peace and unity.

Silence can be active or passive. When I prepare for Meeting for Worship and enter the silence, for me it becomes an active silence in which I wait in worship to hear God’s words. We hear about being open to transformation in our spiritual practice and for me, this Silence is one of the ways in which I can experience a deep transforming energy that can change and purify my soul. 

We talk about Quakers being searchers and on a spiritual journey. As with any journey, there are times when we do not know where we are going and when we get lost. We are exhorted to come to Meeting for Worship even when we are going through periods of darkness. In my experience, when I am going through these periods of dryness, my hope is that in the silence I may find the grace of inward quiet and of deep peace as I connect to the Light/God. The challenge at this moment is in finding that connection through virtual Meetings. This has not been easy.

It is because of my experience of lockdown, of feeling cut off from the world of fFriends and of going through the frustration of not being more useful, that I decided to use this time to reflect on what silence means to me. For this opportunity, I feel grateful and humbled.

Jeannette Delagado-Holdsworth